Take you into a place of inner peace and calm
In Focusing we call this ‘finding Self-in-Presence’. How to describe it? It’s just a very quiet, still place of being. It can be like finding the still point in a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings, doings and active life. It can be like coming behind a wall out of the wind. It can be like finding still water. It can feel like coming home to a comfortable chair. It’s a kind of space inside yourself, which also isyour Self. Usually, when I find it, I almost automatically breathe a sigh. It’s a kind of ‘Here I am’ moment. Very often, clients who experience this for the first time tell me, ‘I’ve never felt peace like this in my whole life.’
So far this sounds similar to mindfulness. But Focusing goes further. This inner awareness space of Self-in-Presence can also be a calm Presence given towards other aspects of ourselves, often aspects that are not so calm: aspects that feel stuck, or emotionally tender or overwhelmed, that feel stressed, angry, depressed, lost or trapped in some situation. Being ‘in Presence’ means we have a different way of approaching these parts of ourself, one that is able to be in relation to the part rather than overwhelmed by it, and one that can enable that part to be heard, accepted, understood empathically: all conditions that enable it to shift from its stuck state into where it really wants to be. There is often a sense of release, a kind of inner sigh as something moves and changes. This process is one that can turn what feels difficult into what feels less uncomfortable, less painful, or even joyful.
Focusers are passionate about all this, because we have experienced such wonderful benefit from it. As a counsellor, I have also seen how learning this skill can be releasing and healing even for very deep and long lasting hurts.
I’m probably showing my age here, but it is like the old Heineken advert: it refreshes the parts that other things can’t reach!